Complications with Hydrocephalus revisions

I feel incredibly down right now. I am angry and sad and feel betrayed. I have hydrocephalus and have had 8 surgeries this year.12 in the past year. In one of the operations they drilled a burr hole in my skull to  get to a piece of old infection-filled catheter.  Since this surgery as time goes on I've been in increasing pain on my left side of my head and in the burr hole. I have more pain everyday. A neurosurgeon I came to meet in the ER at my local hospital suggested placing a titanium plate to cover the burr hole. I thought when he suggested this he meant that this would help with my pain. Turns out it will more than likely increase my pain. So suddenly I have no viable options and am still in screaming pain, especially when I lay on my left side. When I lay on my pillow it spreads to the entire left half of my face. 

So here I sit on my couch feeling hopeless and sad, teary eyed and all.